Wolfeschlaegelstienhausenbergerhaufstedt Haiku

a series of haiku's based on a name from a segment entitled "Funny Names of Real People" in an old book I've had since I was a kid entitled "The Big Book of New American Humor" (edited by william novak and moshe waldoks, 1990 Harper Perenial). due to the length of the name, some liberties had to be taken with the haiku form.


Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt is a
long ass fucking name

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt did it
I swear your honor!

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt milks the
dictators left teat*

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt, do the
Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus...

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt is a
name cruel parents give

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt will not
fit on the license

how would you like your
Wolfeschlaegelstienhausenberg-
erhaufstedt prepaired?

Wolfeschlaegelstienhaus-
enbergerhaufstedt wears an
old worn chestnut blouse*

we ran out of Wolfe-
schlaegelstienhausenberger-
haufstedt this morning

whatever happened
to Mrs. Wolfeschlaegel-
stienhausenbergerhaufstedt?



for more on Herbert Wolfshlaegelsteinhausenbergerhaufstedt, Xavier Yopp, Sibyl Bibble, other funny names, and diverse comedy pieces from a span between 1965 and 1990, pick up an out of print copy of The Big Book Of New American Humor from your local library. but you don't have to take my word for it!

asterisked haikus by cousin Larry