Chapter 18:Protest 4

Crazy's back so soon! On the other hand when I consider the banality of the conversations I overhear daily or the brain-vomit on the television that most persons ingest I shrug and say, if I'm crazy then I say yes to it.


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CHAPTER 18
“That’s just what the lizards want,” the Mayor said, his eyes shining with belief.
“And that’s what the lizards get. Every fucking time, eon after eon . . .”
Gilbert looked uncertainly at Peggy, whose eyes were fixed to the Mayor’s. Gilbert gulped. He’s blowing it again.
“. . . human nature changes not, banal stupidity without end.” The Mayor belched,
the smiled. Three pigeons swooped down, wings fluttering, and landed in the space separating Peggy and Gilbert from Samantha and the Mayor. “Hey little buddies,” the Mayor said in a high-pitched voice. Then, addressing the others. “I’m pretty sure they’re in on it. Lizard’s minions for the most part.”
“Oh, c’mon now,” Samantha said. “What’s your evidence for that?”
“You mean hard evidence,” the Mayor said. “Logical evidence to the exclusion of other ways of knowing is Descartes’ madness, instilled in all of us from a very early age.”
“Ok,” Samantha said. “I’m about to wrap it up here. I can listen for another minute.” Peggy took a small package of crackers from her purse, crushed them and emptied the crumbs onto the grass. Gilbert looked on as the pigeons flocked to feast.
Butta, butta, butta. Taka taka taka. The wild-eyed man was back, staggering about, shooting at the helicopters with air-stabbing fingers. Pigeons hopped or made short flights to make way for the man. The man looked at the four conversationalists and beamed a sparse-toothed jack-o-lantern’s smile, then continued his business.
Gilbert said, “Now there’s a man who’s down with the whole Primitivist anti-tech theme of this rally.”
Peggy followed the man’s zigzagging into the distance. “But he’s crazy.”
“But on topic,” Gilbert said.
“Is that what this rally is about?” the Mayor said. “Primitivism?”
“You didn’t know?” Gilbert said.
“Naw,” the Mayor said. “After burying my little buddy in the Alder Street Garden--”
“What?” Samantha said.
“My pigeon friend,” the Mayor said, picking at a nose hair. “Anyway, a neighbor told me something was going on down here, and at that point I figured, what the hell, it’s time for the sign. Time for the sign, but now I know that this is the perfect venue for discussing lizards and pigeons. They’ve always used technology against us.”
Far off, down the street, new shouting could be heard, not yet clear and distinct enough to discern individual voices or words. Peggy whispered to Gilbert. “Your friend’s made this whole protest worthwhile.” She smiled girlishly, her eyes cutting through the grey drizzle like sunrays.
“He’s a unique character in this town,” Gilbert said, relieved.
“Alright,” the Mayor said. “Let us all open our minds like children and consider the utterly unique case of the pigeon.”
“I’ll give you a minute,” Samantha said.
“I’ll be brief,” the Mayor said.
Gilbert tried not to stare at Peggy. No he won’t.
“We’re all here to share our learning, our opinions, so here’s my opinion on the pigeon. Spaz here can lend observational support.”
Fuck!
“Right Spaz?”
“If and when it’s appropriate,” Gilbert grumbled. “Go on.”
“I shall,” the Mayor said. “First of all, has anyone seen or even heard of a pigeon living in the wild?”
Peggy and Gilbert shook their heads in the negative. Samantha stared blankly, then said, “They’re scavengers like seagulls. They gather where the food is.”
“It’s true that both species are scavengers,” the Mayor said. “Many species scavenge in nature, but rarely do they venture into a city. Only when starving. Pigeons on the other hand are an occupying force.”
“But all kinds of birds live here,” Samantha said. “Bluejays and finches and crows, and many others.”
“Not exclusively,” the Mayor said. “Pigeons choose to live in cities en masse to the exclusion of natural habitats. It’s decidedly unnatural.”
The street shouting grew louder, though still indistinct. “Obviously they used to live in the wild, and maybe some still do, the misfit pigeons perhaps.” The Mayor lowered his voice as three cops walked past. “After studying these creatures for years I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re telepathic. I’ll throw a bagel on the sidewalk for one to nibble at. It’ll peck soundlessly, but within seconds dozens of others will appear out of nowhere to share in the meal. I’ve seen a pigeon toss a tidbit over its head directly into the beak of its comrade. They share and always know the location and needs of the others. They never collide when they fly no matter how chaotic the flight pattern. They seem to be of one mind and they show us no fear.”
Just then two pigeons cocked their heads at the Mayor, and stared. “I have caught them watching me, considering me, sizing me up. Once I was outside the coffee shop smoking and noticed one of them staring with those red intelligent eyes, so I walked around the corner. It wobbled around and joined me, cocking its head. I walked around the next corner, and within ten seconds there it was, facing me. I shouted at it, “what!”
Several others flew around the corner to join it. Then, just for kicks I thought, do you guys want the cookie in my bag? At once they waddled to within two feet of me. I tossed the cookie down and they made quick work of it. I’m certain they’d read my mind.”
Samantha jiggled her earpiece. “Oh, c’mon.”
“There are times they’ve landed on the edge of my table and seemed to be checking out my reading material. Putting it all together I grew convinced of their great intelligence, and something else.”
“Yes?” Peggy said.
“They’re here to keep watch over us,” the Mayor said. “And I can’t believe their intentions are good. I think they see us as interlopers, usurpers of the kingdom of nature.”
The Mayor made clicking noises at the pigeons near him, but they kept pecking at the grass. “They’re disgusted with us,” he said. “This may be speculation, but I feel it in my guts. Pigeons watch us, then report to their Reptilian superiors. This is why they’ve chosen to live in cities. From the air and from the ground they watch us, and now if I may, I’d like to discuss another species, just as vital to the puzzle, that watches us from the seas. As Gilbert well knows, I’m speaking of the dolphins.”
“What!” Samantha said.
“Aquatic and in control.”