To Strive

A series of accidents culminates
in a long drop, only stopped
by hitting bottom--

and expelled, gasping,
into a room full of
watchful eyes and closed hearts,
I begin to climb.
Running before I can walk,
singing before I can speak;
through rose-colored glasses,
I can't see the cliffs looming large,
or all those scaly, clawed hands
reaching out from the shadows:
in ignorance, I am fearless.

Slowly, I learn;
childhood flees
in the face of the unspeakable,
comfortable illusions vanish,
everything dank and rotten and wrong
is magnified beyond reason;
I am lost, my purpose misplaced,
crowded out of mind by
bitter regret and clammy apprehension...
but still I advance.

Into the heights, below: the abyss.
Light-headed and feeble,
every precious inch
is an eternity of struggle and pain,
with no predetermined outcome
to comfort or assuage;
there is only me.
And with each crystal shard in my palm,
dizzying seconds paid for in blood
and the stink of terror my constant companion,
I chant to the rhythm of my shallow breath:

somewhere up there, there is freedom,
somewhere up there, there is light.
I will reach the top.
Read more!

Stuck in Time

The clocks speak of
moments, hurried and brittle,
with your voice a whisper in a gale.
These wings were not enough
to keep me aloft,
these lungs not fit
for such high altitudes--
this heart, not as golden
as your hair, nor as brilliant
as I imagined you to be.
Shadowed eyes
and quiet fingertips
that never quite touch
beyond the surface hello;
scant impression, small comfort
through long nights, remembering
all that never came to pass--
too many hours spent wishing
on stars that have already died,
halfway across a galaxy
that never noticed you were missing.
Read more!

Sugar

Syrup-sweet and
edible,
you pose, proposing
in languid prose
feats deserving poetry.

Supple-soft and
craveable,
milk and honey, love,
ungovernable
candy-urges surfacing.

Sticky-wet and
panting,
slantingly romancing,
horizontal dancing,
a melting sugar-tangle.

1.12
Read more!

Smooth

Is it sweet, she asked;
does it flow? Does it
glide across the mind like
honeyed skin, like silk and cream,
like soulful, happy tears?

Angel's song, I told her,
with nothing of
shattered glass or pain,
all sensual grace,
like youth and strength and sin--
ecstasy, love at first taste.

1.7.09

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mitten

TYPE YOUR SYNOPSIS HERE


.
much love for this state
cherries motown and techno
lest you have forgot?

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MONEY?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
for those of you in school- i found this under scholarships and such

Betcha never thought you'd find a use for that paper your teacher loved on Ayn Rand
Guess what? Here it is: The Ayn Rand Institute awards $10,000 to the first-prize winner in its annual essay contest . Go to


http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_contests_atlas Read more!

Chicken - A Song For Karla Smith

Karla was an amazing, vivacious, wild, and troubled force of nature. She was both beautiful and intelligent, and a truly gifted writer. I met her in Madison, WI in 1998, and we dated and lived together briefly. On January 13, 2003 Karla Smith's light was sadly extinguished by a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest. Although our time together was brief, my time with Karla is one of my most cherished memories. The following is a song I wrote for her just before we parted in 1998. This is how I remember Karla...


CHICKEN (A Song For Karla Smith)

Something in the way you light a pillow,
The way you look, especially when you read.
The way you laugh, or talk when your friends call you—
To know you is to know the joy in me...

I see you in my sleep, and upon waking,
I think of you all day, and I am sad;
I worry 'bout the way our love is shaping,
And worry 'bout my strength to keep you near.

Cause I don't know what you need, or if you need me.
And I don't want to chain you to a lie—
But I am glad we got to know each other,
Oh, cause I'm a better man inside, somehow...

Oh, I have known ten-thousand righteous causes
And I have watched them all burn to the ground.
And I can say they made me none the wiser;
But they were mine—as you are mine right now.

And I love you as I've loved nothing ever,
Ever in my life, that's come before—
But this unpleasantness has come between us;
Is it possible that our love can survive?

And Karla, I don't claim to know the answer
To anything you might be searching for.
And if I could, I'd love you girl, forever—
But will I become a victim of your pride?

'Cause I can't claim that I have all the answers
To anything you might be searching for,
And if you'd ask, I'd go from you forever;
But I'd hope your loving touch would stay right here...

So paint a fractured smile upon my windows,
You're a kind of joy I just can't bear!
I wish I could stay with you forever:
I can't claim to know you, but I care.

There are realms within imbued with such emotion,
And places deep, that no word can describe.
There is peace beyond expressing when I'm with you,
Everything you are, gives depth to life. Read more!

Armageddon

***
twenty twelve looms
watching conspiracy tv
cancel insurance

Read more!

A Poem for Tiffany

Some people enter your life for but a moment, but stoke something magical and mystical within you that gives you hope. Tiffany was such a person.


Touch me unforgettably
In places where I need it most.
Fill me with the confidence that
Freedom is contagious.
Always be authentic in everything you do;
Never doubt your influence, and time will ne'er forget you...
You are just the seed of what someday I hope to have the joy to know:

When you wander, think of me, it makes my footsteps lighter.
Eagerly improve yourself, so you'll have that much more to give.
Always cut yourself some slack, for people sometimes falter...
Tragically, you'll come across some people who
Have troubled lives--who sap away your
Energy, and bind you to their problems.
Remember it is not your job to save them
From their circumstance: beyond some words of wisdom,
Only time can heal their lives...
Revel in the here and now, love yourself always, somehow.
Dream of me, I'll dream of you, and love you till we're stardust.
Read more!

The Dreamer's Lament

Yellow leaves and flower petals
Scarlet footprints in the sand,
Icy winds that chill the body--
My love wonders where I am:

Silly boy, who, born a dreamer
Left the world when love was mine,
Searching for some phantom being
That I know I'll never find...

I've traversed through wooded mountains
And I've forded icy streams
Searching for something I've known,
But only found inside my dreams:
With a heart that often falters
Have I traveled day to day,
Trying to ignore my feelings
For the one who'd make me stay.

But at night, with spirits broken,
I can find no peace of mind
For my travels leave me lonely
For the one I've left behind.
Nevermore shall I encounter
One who loves me as she does,
And I think of her while on the waves
And send to her my love...

Curséd is the life of dreamers
With a heart that's meant to roam;
Meant to ponder all the mysteries,
Meant to travel all alone...
Searching hard, but never finding.
Tired, hungry, and in pain,
Yet I'd rather be a dreamer:

Just a soul, without a name...


Read more!

happy new year

2 wars, 2nd great depression and fireworks


THE REST OF IT GOES HERE
smoking on the balcony of newmark theater as midnight hit. breaking the new smoking ban (can't light up within 10 feet of a door) felt good. No smoking in bars now. Sucks. I'll take my habit to the street motherfuckers. Still, 2009, will be the best for all of us personally and for the species. Good luck in SD, Glytch. And please keep writing. Read more!