The Strange Odyssey of Flight 49 Out of Kellogg International Airport

is this the one you were talking about, mike? it's only saved as a draft cause I was using an already-opened WCI tab to do a quick edit on something from my old myspace blog I was sending to an old high school buddy in china. now here it is for all of you to read:


THE REST OF IT GOES HERE


In this true story dating back to the dark days of early august 2005, when armies of genetically modified cybernetic marsupials roamed the streets in order to secure earth for it's eventual enslavement by interdimensional CHUDs (has it really been seven months already?), our hero (me) is drawn into a harrowing journey due to events beyond his control. in a way it's not unlike The Count of Monte Cristo, except considerably shorter and very much unlike that. anyway, to provide greater context for whats going on in this piece, it was written the morning that the space shuttle discovery safely landed despite fears that it might blow up on re-entry. also, people back then used to eat these strange flakes made out of corn that they would pour milk on. for reals.






The Strange Odyssey of Flight 49 Out of Kellogg International Airport
or
Somebody had to crash today, might as well have been me

okay, so I had just finished the best oil painting I've ever done (tentatively entitled "Impatient Red-headed Nude with Trippy Oversized Right Arm), and I was starved. so I go and pour myself a heaping bowl of Corn Flakes, and headed downstairs to eat them while I browse the interentaglement, as I am want to do. well, I lost my footing on the carpeted steps, and Corn Flakes and milk go flying EVERYWHERE! I land on my back, but in such a way that I am unscathed (in fact, my back was a little sore before, and now is a little LESS sore). also, the bowl and spoon never left my hand. the bulk of the payload lands in my leather shoes however, and other breakfast fragments soak a pile of clothes that had just been laundered. further milk droplets can be seen as far away as ten feet from ground zero. amazingly though, my record collection -which was near the worst part of the danger zone- didn't get any of the impact! you know how when something like that happens, it happens in super-slow-mo? well this was no exception. I actually remember thinking as it was happening that if I can move fast enough, I might just be able to catch the airborne cereal in the bowl from whence it launched. I suppose I did not have enough time to realize that I am not Neo. but the good news is, I might just be in the next Guinness Book Of World Record for most swears uttered in a one-second time period!