Learnin' to Fish

Ah, childhood . . . So many POVs


THE REST OF IT GOES HERE
Learning to Fish
mommy? why is it that in every dream of you
you have a penis for a nose?
why is it that I snarl and bark at you in those dreams?
why did you emasculate my dad
my formative role model of what a man is
and not let him live his own life?
have his own friends
and goin’ fishin’ with me was his only respite
but I didn’t like it, I never learned how to fish, mommy
but I watched him bury his sword into the rock of safety
nothin’ but stoic misery remained, all his greatness
stuck in that goddamn rock
and I’ve popped my guts with 2 hernias
trying to pull that sword out for him
I repeated his mistakes, tugged and tugged
allowed my own balls again and again
to be snapped shut in a woman’s purse,
tugged and tugged,
allowed myself to forget how to say no--
I won’t be a martyr anymore
my attention was on the wrong sword, mommy
the wrong rock
dad had to pull out his own
he didn’t, that’s his decision
but I left a cold and broken Michigan
and at age 40 I finally ripped my own goddamn sword
out of my rock mommy!
and I swing that motherfucker over my head
with my dick hangin’ out and my balls swingin’ free nonstop
and if I slash myself and bleed from the blade
of my own zeal and heat at least I know it’s me
who does the slashing
I’ve done it mommy!
I’m out of your pretty little safety box and can’t be stopped
and I won’t stuff myself down there again!
because unlike ee cummings mom, my I is a capital I
Brrring!!!
sorry guys--mom?--this isn’t a good time, I’m performing
no--there’s no money in it--it’s more important than money--it’s poetry
mom, I gotta go, this is like my church
and I’m a new convert in love with my new gods
and I don’t wanna piss people off--especially not Frank Sauce
he’s a serious character like Ezra pound
but we don’t have time for that now
I’m sorry I haven’t called. Happy New Year to you too
be quick mom, this is Starlite Motel’s big night not yours
SIGH--I’m sorry--she’s a great poet, she’s the goddess tonight
next week there’ll be another--our gods are legion
New year’s resolution? Finish my chapbook, mom--
No mom--I’ve told you before
you don’t wanna read my poems
they have swear words, they’re not pretty
because bad things are more interesting mom
I’m like a toddler ok?
a toddler who wants to put bad yucky things in his mouth
when a person tells me no mike g, don’t mike g, you can’t mike g
you shouldn’t, thou shalt not, it’s wrong, it’s too risky,
I’ll take my love away from you mike g if you do this thing
mom--I gotta put the bad yucky thing in my mouth,
taste it for myself
you should try it sometimes mom--sometimes it’s
the sweetest thing in the world and once you get
that taste in your mouth not even your bar of soap
or your God can take that taste away
don’t cry mom--I love you, you know that
we’re not friends, and that’s fine
I left the nest, didn’t die in the nest, found my own
that was your job, you did fine, and that’s the bond of mother and son
I Gotta go now, tell dad--
dad?
I did it dad--I’ve finally learned how to hook my own worm,
I’ve finally learned how to hook and reel in what I need to eat
and when I come back in June we’ll go fishin’
just you and me--2 men fishin’.