The Persistence of Suffering

Revision and expansion of previous post


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The Persistence of Suffering

In the wisdom
of bitterness
I’m forced
to admit
that time exists
not as a loop
but as a straight line
first this bad thing,
then that bad thing
happens in sequence
each bad thing
is unique in its badness
never to be repeated
each has its own
beginning, middle, end
but at each end
a new bad thing begins--
in retrospect--always
I may not recognize
the badness for a while
I may mistake
the next mistake
for joy or peace,
for saying yes to life
a common mistake
or saying yes to love
always a mistake
my suffering has
a chronological
quality
as does my joy
which feels old,
older, exhausted,
slow to rise,
ready to go
to sleep deeply
snuffed forever
but suffering
is a persistent worker
who never takes breaks
death better be
what I need it to be
no more me, no more me . . .